Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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