So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
