is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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