I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Even my vagina gasped.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
