after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
