Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize