Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
4 words: hood of his car
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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