I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Drake has all the answers
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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