I want to stick my p in your. b.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
