I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
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