Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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