I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
