everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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