I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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