His pubic hair was longer than his dick
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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