According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
