I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
