I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
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How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
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My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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