Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
