Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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