I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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