I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
