they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
