dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
