So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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