so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
