He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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