your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
