porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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