hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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