we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
