Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
