I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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