i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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