who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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