Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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