Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
