Whod you bang
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
