im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
i think my cat just said my name.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
