I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I could fuck to npr.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
