Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.