Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
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THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
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I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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