im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..