Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
