New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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