Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.