I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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