How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
