Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
