I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
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Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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