There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
