how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
