He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
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