Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
