Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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