the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
