so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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