She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
