had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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