There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
