I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
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