Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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