Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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