My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
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