had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
