I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
