Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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