I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
