Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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