just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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